It’s one thing to birth a handsome son, but it’s another to give him a befitting name. More than anything, you need a name that will get heads turning and lips parting in admiration whenever he mentions it.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents hardly pay attention to the names they give their kids. And that’s why a lot of guys are currently bearing the most unattractive names you can ever think of.

In this article, I am going to review some of these names and why you should stay away from them. Honestly, your son will thank you in the future. So, do him a favor and not give him any of these names.

Without much ado, let’s dive right in!

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Most Unattractive Male Names In English

1. Dick

The reason why this name is less attractive is quite obvious. I mean, why name your son after a sexual body part? He will definitely be the butt of everyone’s jokes and nobody will take him seriously.

2. Bob

As much as Bob is a fine name, it’s so ordinary and popular. And you know what happens when something is that ordinary, it quickly loses its attraction. It wouldn’t be romantic or exciting anymore. So, it’s best to go for more exotic names.

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3. Ernest

I honestly don’t think Ernest sounds sexy or romantic at all. The name is from German and means, “serious”, which is an absolute turn-off.

Unless you have a feeling that your son will end up being a nerd, then you should stay away from this name.

4. Norman

Old English names are generally less attractive and Norman is one of them. The name which means, “man from the north” traces its origin to the 9th-century Vikings. In those days, Vikings were also called Normans, especially in Europe.

5. Howard

Howard is also another male English name that is very unattractive. Its pronunciation isn’t sexy at all. The name is from German and means “brave heart.”

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6. Harold

Harold is primarily less inviting because of the meaning attached to the name. Although it’s a modern name derived from German, it means “military power” and “army ruler.” There is nothing attractive about these meanings.

7. Myrtus

The pronunciation alone is the first turn-off. Aside from being difficult to pronounce, Myrtus is the name of a flower or shrub and certainly not a great name for your little one.

8. Darold

Darold is another male English name that’s not attractive at all. The name which is of American origin is pronounced “dare-old” which is not sexy.

9. Osama

It also doesn’t make sense that you will name your son after a world-acclaimed terrorist and someone who took a lot of innocent lives.

As your baby grows older and starts attending school, people will definitely despise him and wouldn’t want to associate with him.

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10. Skidmore

This name is not attractive majorly because it’s an old name and even when you try to coin a sweet name from it, it’s fruitless. Do you go for “skid” or “more?” None of the names have a positive association.

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11. Tuna

Tuna is a popular fish species that is eaten as food. They are usually large and can be found in bodies of warm water, especially oceans and seas. Do you really want to name your son after a fish? You don’t need anyone to tell you it’s a bad idea.

12. Sir

Sir is used to politely and respectfully address a man especially if he is in a position of authority. Giving your child this name is unappealing. It wouldn’t endear him to anyone.

13. Gaylord

Really? Gaylord? I know you might want to sound all sexy and all but this name is simply a no-no. Your son will be the butt of every joke at school and annoyingly irritating to his crushes even. So, please, save him the embarrassment.

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14. Brutus

One of the qualities of attractive names is usually the beautiful meanings attached to them. This name sounds a lot like “brutal” which is a huge turn-off.

15. Strandrew

A lot of parents might want to explore their creative sides and pull two names, Andrew and Stephen together to arrive at Strandrew. While your creativity is applaudable, this name doesn’t sound pleasing to the ear at all.

16. Phelonus

Choosing to name your child Phelonus simply shows that you are insinuating that he has criminal traits that will mature as he grows.

You might not be aware of this but a lot of people wouldn’t be kind enough to give you the benefit of the doubt. The name is obviously a variation of “felony” which means a criminal act.

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17. Semaj

While some creative parents might pat themselves on the back for thinking out of the box and coming up with the name Semaj, the name doesn’t sound attractive at all.

Semaj is simply “James” spelled backward. Why go through all that stress for a name that has no meaning when you could as well settle with “James?”

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18. Sssst

What does this name even mean? How is it pronounced? I bet you have no idea. And that’s enough to reinstate how dumb the name is.

19. Thermopylae

Aside from this name being a bit difficult to pronounce, how do you even name your child after a small town in Greece? There are better choices.

20. Mazn

I know you want the world to know how special your child is and how amazing you feel having him in your life. But desist from naming him Mazn. The name is meaningless and will draw lots of funny stares when he becomes an adult.

21. Abcde

Putting together the first five English alphabets as a name for your son isn’t a clever move at all. Though the name is pronounced as Ab-sid-ee, it is meaningless.

22. Christmas

Even though your son was born on 25th December, this name is not befitting at all and is simply not attractive. His peers might be mischievous enough to add “day” to his name such that it becomes Christmas Day.

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23. Audio Science

This name sounds more like a college music class rather than a child’s name. You don’t want to leave people confused about your son’s identity.

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24. Seaman

This name will get a lot of people wondering if your son is some kind of superhero residing in the sea.

25. Eggbert

Eggbert is not exactly an attractive name. It’s just meaningless.

26. Satan

This is by far the most unattractive name you can ever give to your child. Some parents have gone ahead to name their kids Satan and I sincerely wonder if they are okay at all.

It does not make sense to name your child after the devil. And it does not matter whether you are religious or not.

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27. Jermajesty

Jermajesty is a name coined from a bad pun and doesn’t sound attractive at all. It’s best if it’s a nickname but that’s about that.

28. Denim

Denim is a class of cotton fabric and will definitely get people wondering if you mean Denim jeans or jackets. It’s an ugly name to start with and every parent should stay away from it.

29. Diesel

Even though you’re an attendant at a petrol station, it’s not enough reason to name your son, Diesel. The name just like other fossil fuels is not befitting of any child.

30. Banjo

Banjo might be your favorite musical instrument but that doesn’t mean it can also pass for someone’s name, especially for a child.

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31. Moonblood

Moonblood is another unattractive English name parents should avoid at all costs. The name sounds more like a feminine hygiene product.

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32. Speck Wildhorse

John Mellencamp named his son Speck and a lot of times it seems as though it’s short for something. Is it Spectator? Spectacular? Special? Nobody knows. And what about Wildhorse which is appended as the middle name? What does it even mean?

33. Pirate

I wonder what Korn Davis and his wife were thinking while naming their son, Pirate as the name isn’t pleasing to the ears. Even though it’s your dream to train your child to be a sailor, there are better names with beautiful meanings you can give him.

34. Rebel

It doesn’t matter whether your child will likely grow up to be someone who rises above opposition a lot, you should avoid giving him a name that will get people sniggering whenever he mentions it.

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35. Seven

What does the name Seven signify? It’s just a number and holds no meaning.

36. Kyd

You should stay away from this name if you don’t want people speculating that you are too lazy to pick a proper name for your child. Kyd is not only unattractive but has no meaning. Can you even pronounce it?

37. Satchel

There is nothing attractive about naming your child after a bag or purse. Woody Allen and Mia Furrow made this mistake but thankfully they eventually changed the son’s name to Ronan.

38. Dweezil

Dweezil sounds more like Diesel. It could also be a fusion of “Dweeb” and “Weasel” which doesn’t make sense at all.

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39. IB

This name sounds really boring when pronounced. One would even think that it’s the abbreviation for the main name and you have to keep explaining that it’s not anything like that. Imagine having to deal with this for the rest of your life.

40. Laqueesha

Which parent will want to name their son after a movie title? You can do better than that.

41. Wolfgang

Wolfgang is an old German name that means “wolf, gang, journey, travel, or path.” None of these meanings are attractive, so it’s best to choose another name.

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42. Head

This is a funny one. Imagine having a discussion with your partner and they ask you, “Is Head back from school yet?” Or your son walks into a room and introduces himself as “Head.” It’s a laughable situation.

43. Shrek

It does not matter if “Shrek” is your favorite animated character, it’s not befitting for any child. Aside from that, Shrek is an ogre and as such has an ugly appearance. Are you by any way suggesting that your son is as ugly as Shrek?

44. Pinocchio

Pinocchio is one of the characters in a well-known fairytale. The boy’s nose usually grows larger whenever he tells a lie. You should picture this in your mind. Is that the image you want to give your son?

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45. Chip

I wonder why some parents choose this name out of the sea of names available. What inspired it? Where does the name come from? Memory chip? Chipmunk? Or potato chips?

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46. Minecraft

There is no sense in naming your child after a video game. Even though you are a Minecraft fan, it’s not enough reason to give your son such a name.

47. Akuji

While this name might sound cool when pronounced, the name is unplesant. The name is of African origin and it means, “dead and awake.” It’s certainly not cool for your newborn.

48. Desdemona

This name sounds a lot like Desmond which would have been a fine name. However, Desdemona carries a dark meaning and is truly upsetting.

The name which is of Greek origin means, “of the devil”, “misery” or the “ill-fated one.” You can’t afford to have your child bear this name.

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49. Mallory

Mallory is a unisex name and originated in French. As much as the name sounds cool, the problem lies with the meaning. The name means, “unfortunate”, and “ill-fated.”

50. Abaddon

Aside from the fact that this name sounds a lot like “abandon”, it carries a dark and terrible meaning. In Hebrew, the name means “angel of death.” I am sure, you don’t want that for your child.

51. Alastor

Are you considering naming your child after the main protagonist of Hazbin Hotel? You should think again. Alastor is also known as the sinner demon and is a powerful lord in Hell.

52. Brone

This is an Irish name that names “sadness.” With all the happiness and laughter the birth of your son brought to the family, the name is off-putting.

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53. Brennan

The name sounds pretty cool but for the Gaelic meaning. It means “sorrow” and “sadness.”

54. Azazel

It doesn’t matter whether you are religious or not, you should stay away from this name. A lot of Biblical groups attribute the name to an “evil spirit.”

55. Byron

Byron might sound pleasing to the ear but its Old English meaning takes that attractiveness away. The name means “cowshed.”

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56. Calvin

This could have also been a nice name if not for its meaning in French. The name is derived from the French word, “chauve” which means “bald.”

57. Cameron

Cameron is a Scottish name that means “crooked nose.” There is nothing attractive about this.

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58. Campbell

This is also another Scottish name with a terrible meaning. It means, “crooked mouth” which comes off as an insult to your child.

59. Doyle

You’re probably surprised to see this name on this list mostly because of its popularity and how sweet its pronunciation is. However, the problem lies with its meaning in Irish, which is “dark stranger.”

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60. Dracul

Aside from its close resemblance with Dracula, this name means “devil” and “dragon.” Your child doesn’t represent any of that.

61. Huxley

While this name sounds pleasing to the ears, its English meaning overshadows its sweet pronunciation. The name means “inhospitable place.”

62. Mort

Mort sounds extremely boring. Worst of all, the name is of Old French origin and means “dead.” Yikes!

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63. Oleander

While this name has a close resemblance with Oliver which is a beautiful name, its meaning is enough to keep you away. Oleander means “poisonous flower.” If I was in your shoes, I would go with Oliver.

64. Phobus

There is everything wrong with this name. First, it doesn’t sound pleasing when pronounced. And then, it means “fear.”

65. Samael

Why name your child Samael when there is Samuel? Samael carries a dark and scary meaning. In Hebrew, the name means, “venom of God.”

66. Teivel

This Yiddish name means “devil.” It’s certainly not a cool name for your little one.

67. Than

Than is a Greek name that means “death”. How morbid!

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68. Ubel

If you go with this name, there are high chances that your child will be nicknamed “Uber” in the future and there is nothing you can do. You should save him this headache. Worst still, the name also means “evil.”

69. Valdis

Valdis is a unisex name with a morbid meaning that will drive people away from your little one. The name means “the dead.”

70. Jolon

This is a Native American name that means “valley of the dead oaks.” This doesn’t paint a good picture in the mind.

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Wrapping Up

There you have it! There are a lot of reasons why these names are not attractive. For some, they don’t sound pleasant.

Others have repulsive and morbid meanings. The rest are simply hilarious and could cause a lot of people to make fun of your kid.

Rather than settle for any of these names, you should think out of the box and come up with a better and unique name for your little one.